Who Would Win?

I’ve written a huge amount of material dedicated to zombies. Yeah, no kiddin’. I’ve also written several articles featuring vampires. Each monster has its advantages and disadvantages of being who they are. But picking a fight, who would win? I thought for today’s Monday Mayhem I’d write about zombies vs. vampires and have some fun speculating who would come out victorious in a full-tilt battle between these two creatures of Horror.

Lauren Cohan as Maggie Greene in The Walking Dead
Lauren Cohan as Maggie Greene in The Walking Dead

What do we know?

Depending on who you talk to, zombies can either drag their limbs to their victim or dash in a fit of rage. Either way, you’re dead. No matter if you have a slow or fast zombie on your tail, you’ll soon have to stop for a breath. Or you can climb a tree and stay there until you fall to your ultimate demise. Zombies also come in packs. Therefore, even if you encounter slow zombies lurching about, more than likely you’ll have a horde after you. The awful thought about the whole genre is that they act as one unit. When one of them hears a noise the rest follow. They have have no sense of stopping once they’ve placed a marker on a victim.

Vampires function on another level. They’re cunning, choosing to lure and trap their victims with their wily use of stealth. If they mark a victim, they’ll follow until they’re sure no one could interfere with their nefarious plan. Once alone with their victim, they’ll hypnotize and lull them to do their bidding. Eventually, the victim will surrender their neck to the demon of darkness in a life-draining session.

Underworld
Underworld

Knowing what we know about zombies and vampires, who do you think would win a war between them?

I’ll play both sides of the battle for now.

Zombies are a powerful foe when fighting as part of a crowd. As individual creatures, not so much. A quick knife to the head; they’re gone. They’re not very smart either. When attacking their victims, they huddle around them in a frenzy in an attempt to get as much as they can from the meal, even kneeling with their backs turned while pillaging their spoil. Any opposing foe can quickly put these monsters out of their misery. But if the undead are united and see their goal, they’re unstoppable. Other than bullets and vehicles, zombies can rip through an army fairly quickly without much trouble.

Vampire strength, on the other hand, relies on the individual. The smarter a vampire, the more likelihood it would win against single zombies. The problem I see though, is vampires win by the spilling of their victim’s blood, an element zombies don’t need to stay alive. But that’s getting ahead of ourselves. Vampires are also very good with steering humans to do their will, something a braindead zombie would have a hard time doing, considering they don’t even know they’re dead.

So there you have it, a few points to keep in mind in this speculative argument. Verdict?

Don’t be mad at me, but I think zombies would win an all-out war against vampires. Two reasons: First, sheer numbers. If the whole of the human race turns zombie then vampires would have a tough time recruiting new candidates into their armies. Zombie viruses spread quicker than vampire replication. Second, zombies tear apart their victims. If vampires fall prey to zombies, there wouldn’t be anything left of them. Zombies can still survive without a body. World War Z attests to that. And if I were to add a third reason, I also would say if a war broke out during the day, vampires would burn up in the sun while the zombies sit and stare at their charred remains.

Of course, the age-old question is this: If a vampire bites a zombie will the zombie become a vampire? Or if the zombie bites the vampire will the vampire become a zombie?

These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, on sale now.
RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale now.

Who do you think would win in a battle of zombie vs. vampire?

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13 thoughts on “Who Would Win?

  1. Fun post! Like you mentioned, a huge weakness of vampires is sunlight (assuming they are of the non-glittering variety lol). Plus their food source would dwindle if a huge number of humans turned into zombies. But overall I like to think that vampires could strategize a winning game plan in an all out war.

  2. And don’t forget, depending on the folklore source, you can only kill a vampire by a stake through the heart. How many zombies have the intelligence to think of that and the dexterity to wield a stake and a hammer.

    Over the past few years various qualities and powers have been applied to vampires, but ultimately, you can only kill one with a stake otherwise, like a zombie, it’ll just keep coming back.*

    Chris

    *and if it can’t be killed with a stake then it’s not a vampire!

    pps the Toten Herzen vampires can make themselves invisible so zombies wouldn’t be able to fine them to kill ’em!

  3. I’d have to go with vampires as well – simply because they’re superhuman and can think. That would allow them to formulate plans to eradicate their foes, and isn’t even taking into account any supernatural abilities from different lore, like transforming into a bat (lets see the zombie horde fly after them) or mist (same result) or the notion that in a full-on war they’d likely band together, which would essentially result in an army of superhumans hell-bent on survival.

    In a lot of old RPG’s vampires even had command over lesser types of undead, like zombies, so depending on lore, the zombie horde might even be doing their bidding.

  4. I’d go with vampires. While it is true that zombies tear their victims apart, vampires are stronger and more durable than humans. Ever notice how beings with super strength have heightened durability too? It’s so the body can handle lifting greater weights, which means they’ll be harder to tear apart. So younger vampires might be taken down after a while, but I think the older ones with more strength and cunning will tear through the horde. Also, vampires have that control over vermin thing that gets overlooked. So they could send a swarm of rats to go after the zombies.

    • Control over rats ? That’s an aspect of vampire lore that I DIDN’T know. Zombies are basically uncoordinated, relying on vestigial strength, vampires are capable of critical thinking & leading a creature that’s essentially a brainless brute into a death – trap.

      • In Bram Stoker’s Dracula, the Count is specifically said to have control over rats and wolves. There are probably other sources as well.

      • Yeah. Some vampire myths have them controlling swarms of vermin like rats, bats, flies, etc. Other versions have them take the form of the swarm. The thinking part of a vampire is definitely an advantage. Though one does have to factor in the pride that they tend to have. Still, I’d go with the blood suckers.

      • I remember in the old Time-Life series from the 80’s, there was a book called Night Creatures. There were vampire stories in that one, and in some of the Russian folklore, they had vampires who would transform into a swarm of vermin when they were close to death. If even one of the critters made it out, they’d be able to return to full strength from it.

  5. What would the result be if a vampire got bitten / attacked by a zombie ? Double undead.
    & I said once before, in some Eastern or Central European lore, vampires & zombies weren’t very different from each other. Vampires were out in the daylight, & like zombies, they looked decayed as well. & they very likely smelled.

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