More than Friends

By the time you read this, it will have been a full two weeks since I wrote it. Yes, this is how far in advance I plan these things. Tonight, or rather two weeks ago, my wife read me a journal entry she’d written about our courtship almost a year before our marriage. I had to cross-reference it with my own journal entry for that same period to find what I thought of our friendship.

Journal
Journal

Can you believe we wrote journal entries of our experiences together before we got married, and we didn’t know we did until a few years ago? Enjoy this Freedom Friday post, it’s about my wife and I, and how we became more than friends.

As I’d mentioned, my wife and I kept journals. We didn’t know we did, and we certainly didn’t know we’d write about our experiences from two different points of views. For instance, a few months prior to making my intentions known that I’d wanted our friendship to move to a new level, she was dating other guys. Nothing came of those relationships, but she did learn what she didn’t want in a guy.

In the meantime, I’d written how I had dated widely—not the girl Widely—widely in the sense of extensively or broadly. I know, corny joke. Anyway, at the time, I’d dated almost every girl in our church. It was a goal I had, and I’d almost completed it had I not chased after my wife.

When we first met, we had zero attraction to one another. Yep. Zilch. Nada. Squat. Don’t get me wrong, we got along. We dated a few times, you know, because we liked each other’s company and all, but we didn’t have that “love at first sight” lightning bolt strike us like you hear other couples had happen to them. We just became good friends, which meant hanging with the same crowd, doing stuff together, and simply having fun. We didn’t feel any pressure to become anything more either. Our families and our church let us do our thing while they went on their merry way.

Marriage Rings
Marriage Rings

And thank goodness we weren’t part of one of those cults that grooms kids to get married as soon as they hit legal age, and then the couple pops out a bazillion kids, and then one or both feels empty, lonely, depressed ‘cause one or both had to give up their dream on account of thinking they were doing what they were supposed to do but now they’re scratching their head wondering what went wrong since, after all, they fell in love with each other as soon as their eyes met in second period Chem. class and those awesome feelings were there and, and, and…

Whew! Where am I? Oh, now I remember—us.

By contrast, our relationship grew slowly. We dated other people while we stayed friends. Our Saturday nights consisted of practicing our singing routine with our outreach group that toured retirement homes on Sundays. As well, throughout the week, we’d stay in touch by phone, talking about the mundane things in life, like the way the fabric softener hides in the clothes when sorting them in baskets.

But it wasn’t until one sunny afternoon when we’d gone to the library together that we had realized something else brewed beneath the simple conversations, the spur of the moment dinners, and the long walks. I’d noticed it months prior, yet she hadn’t come around.

I can never forget where we were. We stood between bookshelves with the Italian section looking straight at us. And it happened. A giddy moment between friends. We exchanged the words, “I love you.”

From that moment forward, the awesomeness kicked in. Whatever we thought we hadn’t felt for each had suddenly appeared in gushing waves of affection that remains to this day. Not a day goes by that we don’t hug or hold hands. Like the other day, when she picked me up in the pouring rain from my walk, and she didn’t immediately put the car in drive but just stared at me.

I said, “What?”

She said, “Well?” then smiled.

Oh, of course. I kissed her.

We drove home to where I wrote another journal entry for that day.

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, now on sale.

How would you describe your relationship with the love of your life?

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22 thoughts on “More than Friends

  1. What a tender post! I adore love stories! Wishing you and your dear wife an eternity of happiness! We are celebrating our anniversary this week, and I’ve spent many moments remembering lately…and cherishing the joy we still feel together after many years. 🙂

  2. Oh Jack this touched my heart. I just never heard this about you and my sister. So romantic. Which I think would make a good material for a romantic novel. Have I got you thinking?

  3. Very sweet story and thank you for sharing it with us. I feel the same with my boyfriend. we may not be married, but we were friends before we became lovers for 4 years via different continents and that day finally came when we both felt it was more. We still call each other soul mates as cliche as it may sound, but thats the beauty of love prehaps, when you see your best friend in someone you cherish, are in love with too, it brings it to a warmer, greater feeling.

  4. Beautiful post. I wish you continued happiness together.
    I have experienced “love at first sight” but now I doubt it, it seems that for me, all that is, is a crush that wears off. Love for me, is the thing that gets more intense the more you get to know someone.
    Anyway, I loved reading this post. Thank you for that.

  5. My wife and I were best friends for many years during grade, middle and high school. We never dated each other until I was in the Navy and she was graduating high school. We both dated widely and often complained to each other about our crappy dates. It was not until my wife came to visit me in San Diego during the Christmas break that we realized we were more than friends. The love grew out of our friendship. We will celebrate 22 years married this coming February.

    • What an awesome story, thanks for sharing. And also congratulations on your upcoming wedding anniversary! I think it’s amazing when love grows out of friendship. Yours certainly sounds incredible! Here’s to many more to you and your wife!

  6. Oh my goodness, this is awesome!! I love hearing about friends who slowly and surely become more. My hubby and I were the same way—not attracted to one another at all. No love at first sight or lightning bolts.
    Being friends with the one you love gives your relationship a great foundation of mutual respect so that when the warm fuzzy feelings are harder to feel (because, let’s face it, none of us are lovable all the time) there is something stronger binding you.

    Wishing you two all the happiness in the world!

    • Congrats to you both as well! Isn’t it grand when best friends fall in love?

      And yes, awesome knowing a strong foundation is there for when challenges appear. It’s so much easier to overcome them knowing someone is there fighting in your corner.

      Best wishes to you and yours from season to season!

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