Zombie Kill of the Week

Welcome to another edition of Monday Mayhem where zombies rule and aliens invade. If you’re interested in finding out more about Monday Mayhem, you can simply click on the link in the Features panel for a complete list of posts included in the series.

Today I’d like to focus on zombie kills. Not so much how zombies kill, but how creative I’ve seen zombies get killed in various movies.

Zombieland
Zombieland

For instance, Zombieland. Does this movie ever go away? It’s hard to believe it’s been four years. One of my favorite scenes involves the Zombie Kill of the Week award given to those who exemplify pure creativity with the killing of the undead. A white-haired woman runs around a corner heading to the entrance of what seems to be a church. A quick-pace zombie follows. She pulls a handled-rope, much like the ones seen in those old movies featuring a toilet with a chain for flushing. She then disappears into the building. When the zombie finally shows up at the door, a piano falls on it. That’s the end of the zombie, thus earning the woman the Zombie Kill of the Week.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

How about Shaun of the Dead? This movie gets funnier with every viewing. Shaun and Ed (played by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, respectively) battle two zombies that don’t quite know when to give up. The scene starts in the house where the zombies burst through the window. The action then moves to the backyard where the desperate duo throws all manner of kitchen utensils at the approaching creatures, including a toaster. Nothing works, except some hope appears when Ed throws a vinyl record at one of them, maiming the beast. The idea bulb illuminates and they return to the backyard with Shaun’s record collection. As the zombies maintain their approach, the boys argue about which records they should throw.

Ed: ‘Purple Rain‘?
Shaun: No.
Ed: ‘Sign o’ the Times‘?
Shaun: Definitely not.
Ed: The ‘Batman‘ soundtrack?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: ‘Dire Straits‘?
Shaun: Throw it.
Ed: Ooh, ‘Stone Roses‘.
Shaun: Um, No.
Ed: ‘Second Coming‘.
Shaun: I like it!
Ed: Ahhh! ‘Sade‘.
Shaun: Yeah, but that’s Liz’s!
Ed: Yeah, but she did dump you.
Shaun: Oh!

When that doesn’t work, Shaun rams the door to the shed, grabbing a cricket bat. Ed arms himself with a shovel. They then let the zombies have it in a furious series of blows delivered off-camera. The next scene resolves the confrontation with the boys sitting on a couch contemplating on what just happened while they indulge in a hot drink and a caramel cone for dessert.

I can keep going with Dawn of the Dead, Evil Dead, Pet Semetary, and Ghosts of Mars, describing multiple scenes of zombie carnage. But I’d rather write my own list of things I’d like to see happen to the undead in the event of a zombie apocalypse. By the way, I slipped in Ghosts of Mars because a) the movie contains an element of zombieism (is that a word?) and b) John Carpenter wrote and directed the project.

So, without further wait, here is my top ten list of Zombie Kills of the Week. I ordered them from least to greatest, placing emphasis on the most outrageous kill as the last item on the list.

  1. Shooting a zombie in the head
  2. Spraying kerosene over a zombie and setting it alight
  3. Throwing a zombie off a cliff, watching the impact crack its skull
  4. Smashing a zombie’s head with a crowbar until everything’s covered in goo
  5. Jamming a screwdriver into a zombie’s temple until it collapses
  6. Decapitating a zombie with a souvenir confederate sword from the American civil war
  7. Strapping a zombie into a car and ramming it into a brick wall
  8. Driving an ice pick through the zombie’s mouth, severing its spinal cord, thereby rendering it dead
  9. Clamping a zombie’s head in a paint mixer, watching it spin
  10. Running over a zombie until every ounce of unholy breath expels from its maggot-filled lungs

Can you think of any others? Do you have a favorite zombie movie kill you’d like to share? Go ahead and write it in the comments. I’d love to hear what you have to say.

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10 thoughts on “Zombie Kill of the Week

  1. Most of my favorite zombie kills are from Dead Alive. Who could forget when the priest exclaims “I kick ass for the Lord!” and Kung Fu spin-kicks those zombies?

    One of my favorite human kills BY a zombie is when that woman in Zombie gets pulled eye-first onto that jagged splinter. Gah, it hurts me to watch it.

  2. I have not seen that many memorable ones but I know where you can find the worst ones… They are all in the Norwegian movie Dead Snow! Killing zombies with a snowmobile is not the best idea…

    • Sounds like a gruesome tale, I haven’t seen it. I wonder where the idea came for that film. I tend to go for the zombies in The Walking Dead–pure, true zombies without the attitude. Shaun of the Dead’s hilarious. If you ever get a chance, see that one. Just as funny as Zombieland!

      • I’ll add that movie to my pile as well then. Honestly I hated Dead Snow but some like it because it’s so bad and unrealistic that you might as well laugh along with it.

  3. Shaun of the Dead is great, but there is particular episode of the sitcom Spaced (which Pegg also wrote and starred in) where Tim (Simon Pegg) been playing too much Resident Evil 2 and he starts imagining that he’s in the game dispatching zombies and churning out cheesy one liners in the process. Later in the episode he starts seeing zombies everywhere. If you haven’t seen it you should check it out (you can watch part of it here: http://youtu.be/1vUfBOdSmBU).

    • One of my favorites as well. I remember sitting down to write this stuff thinking, “Boy, my readers are going to think I’m some kind of psycho or something.” But then I realized we’re talking zombies and that made everything better.

  4. narrowing down the best zombie kill is near impossible. i will say, though, in literature; “World War Z”…the lobo’s the military carried around. would love to see in action

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