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Classic Films Zombie Style III

Jurassic Zombieland, Star Wars: Attack of the Zombies, Zombies of the Lost Ark, Zombienator XVII, Planet of the Zombies, and Close Encounters of the Undead Kind are all movies I’d love to see in the theater. The problem is no one’s made them—yet. But wouldn’t it be nice?

Alien vs. Zombie

Alien vs. Zombie

Classic Films Zombie Style has become a fun feature for Monday Mayhem. You can read the other parts to this series here: I & II.

How does it work? Well, I pick a film everyone ought to recognize, then I add a few zombies, amp up the violence, throw in a generous splattering of gore and voilà, you have yourself a zombie classic. Sounds easy, doesn’t it?

Let’s see what Part Three of this series holds for us adventurous hunters of the undead.

Alien vs. Zombie—A meteor crashes into the arctic shelf triggering seismic activity in the region. A group of scientists travels to the North Pole to investigate the source of the earthquake. When the scientists arrive, they find an abandoned town and underneath it, a tunnel leading to the center of a complex maze. Inside the labyrinth, acid-blood pumping aliens sent to complete a mission, pick off the scientists one by one. But humans are not the aliens’ target. Humans are in the way. The aliens’ target appears from the sides and attacks the humans, transforming them into the enemy—zombie. Time to break out the popcorn; this is going to be a heck of a mess to clean up.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Zombies—After failing to heed warnings not to return to Hogwarts, Harry, Ron and Hermione investigate a series of attacks directed at the school administration and students. A brutal trail of body parts leads the trio to an underground chamber where they discover a horde of zombies has made it their home. The discovery propels the kids on a quest to secure the chamber and deal with the undead themselves. But in the midst of the Avada Kedavra killing curse, one of the zombies escapes and bites Harmione on the wrist. Faced with the inevitable loss of their friend to the undead, Harry and Ron have to decide the fate of Harmione. Will she become one of the crowds or will Harry have enough time to save her?

Die Hard Zombie—The Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles becomes the scene of a zombie apocalypse. The undead have taken over and floor by floor, they hunt for humans to satisfy their insatiable appetite. Trapped among the potential victims is John McClane, a New York cop with the knack of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. His wife Holly needs his help. He has to get to the horde from the top of the tower before the horde gets to his wife. Time is running out and his only weapon is a clip away from being empty. If he doesn’t save her, he might as well ring the zombie dinner bell himself. Will he make it?

RANGER MARTIN AND THE ALIEN INVASION, on sale October 21.

What movies would you like to see rebooted zombie style?

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61 comments on “Classic Films Zombie Style III

  1. I actually think the Die Hard with zombies idea would be great. Lots of potential for claustrophobic action and zombies getting kicked through high storeyed windows!

  2. Ooh ! ” Big Zombie Trouble in Little China ” – Jack Burton has to fight a zombie version of Lo Pan in Chinatown’s underworld.

    ” The Little ( Zombie ) Mermaid ” – Ariel becomes ill from a strange fish that bites her, & becomes a member of the SWIMMING UNDEAD. :)

    ” The Zombie King and I ” – who wouldn’t like a zombie musical ?

    ” The Lone Zombie Ranger ” – Finally, the Lone Ranger has a contemporary movie version he can be PROUD of.

    • Zathra–”The Zombie King and I” sounds great!

      • Like I said – who could resist a zombie musical ?. ” Zombie Blazing Saddles ” !

      • I’ve been an aspiring writer with a weird imagination since my 20′s. :)

      • In the three years I taught writing, I used to fill sample papers with ridiculous movies. I’ll share a few in a few moments.

      • ” Z * O * M * B * I * E * M * A * S * H * “

      • Informative Synthesis
        Sample Intro :
        Few of the many “alien invasion” films produced are memorable. Typical alien films feature grayish green Martians who want to destroy Earth for no apparent reason. Departing from the “motiveless, little green men” formula, *Undercover Cockroach Alien: Big Mama’s House 3…the Enc…Enroachment* contains a cockroach from Venus who disguises himself as the “big mama” of a family of rubber ducks; unlike the typical alien, the cockroach—whose name is “War Eagle”—invades with a good reason: the Venusian government has banished him, and has given him 3 months to find a home for his race on a new planet. Despite performing poorly at the box office, the film has received rave reviews from critics. Among the most enthusiastic of the film’s fans are Cam Newton and Nick Saban. In his review “A Roach Worth Smokin,’” Newton praises the movie’s original plot, moving dialogue, and all-star cast. While Saban—in his review “Haha…the Roach is Named War Eagle”—also likes the cast and dialogue, he thinks that the plot fails to fulfill its potential. Despite their differing opinions regarding the plot’s quality, Newton and Saban agree that *Undercover Cockroach* is the year’s best film.
        Sample body paragraphs:
        Using Alternating Structure
        (For ex. If the critics agree about something…)
        Saban and Newton agree that an excellent cast is one of the film’s greatest strengths. They especially praise Paris Hilton’s performance as the cockroach. Newton notes, for example, that—although Hilton’s character is an alien cockroach—the actress makes “War Eagle” seem entirely human and sympathetic (1). Expressing a similar opinion, Saban states that Hilton makes viewers care about and identify with a character that they should find “repulsive and ridiculous” (15)…
        OR [if each critic has a lot to say about a topic…]
        Everything Saban thinks about how a great cast contributes to the film’s quality.
        Then:
        Everything Newton thinks about the same topic…
        If they disagree about something, you can use either organizational strategy…but it might be easiest to use the 2nd…i.e. to have 1 paragraph about Newton’s opinion and then a new paragraph in which you say something along the lines of, “Unlike Newton, Saban thinks that the plot—while good—is the film’s weakest feature.” etc…
        Sample Intro #2:
        In their reviews of *No Limit Souljas Reloaded, Part II: Bustin’ Caps and Spittin’ Raps…the ruh—ruh—ruh—Remix*, Little Richard and Chuck Berry focus on the film’s acting, dialogue, and special effects. Despite employing the same criteria, Richard and Berry arrive at different conclusions regarding the movie’s quality. While Richard considers Caps and Raps Master P’s masterpiece, Berry thinks that the film “sucks worse than having (mostly white) people copy” your songs and make a lot more money playing inferior knockoffs of them ” (2).

        For Richard, the film’s plot is an original and enthralling masterpiece “consisting of one highlight followed by another” (1). According to Richard, the film keeps audiences on the edge of their seats for every minute of its 6 hour runtime. “Few films,” says Richard, “contain Caps and Raps’s combination of mystery, comedy, horror, and romance with such success” (2). He thinks that the film’s best scenes—such as the one in which Master P and friends defeat the aliens by beating them in a freestyle rap competition—combine all of these elements with a degree of skill rarely found in modern film.
        If BLOCK organization, then what?
        If ALTERNATING organization, then what?
        Notable Quotes:
        “There’s no limit to what we can do. We’re soldiers, so let’s show the world that we can beat the Martians in this hot dog-eating contest!”
        Etc.

        Critiques:
        Bad Thesis Statements:
        I like Disney’s film *Snoop Froggy Frog*. It is funny.

        *Ghostbusta Rhymes* is a dumb movie. Busta Rhymes isn’t even really a ghost in the movie. He’s just a zombie.

        *Twilight 25: Still Sucking* is interesting, and I like it. Everyone should see it.

        Good Thesis Statements:

        Poor acting, a predictable plot, and unconvincing dialogue doom *Hairy Pothead and the Sorcerer Stoned* to failure.

        Despite containing several thrilling, action-packed scenes, *Lord of the Blingz* mostly bores viewers with long, philosophical discussions about bling.

        With brilliant performances by their elderly actors and surprising plot twists, *Die Very Very Very Hard—as in Harder than You’ve Ever Imagined in Your Wildest Dreams* and *Mission Unbelievably, Unimaginably, Inexplicably Impossible* provide viewers with exhilarating, unforgettable cinematic experiences.

        Informative Synthesis:
        Sample Thesis Statements
        Informative Synthesis:
        Sample thesis statements
        1. Although Smith and Wesson agree that *Cowboy Vampire Dance Party* is the year’s best romantic comedy, they have different opinions regarding what makes the film great. While Smith praises primarily the acting, Wesson thinks that—due especially to a strong screenplay—the film is great in spite of many uninspired performances.
        2. In their positive reviews of *Godzilla v. Sarah Palin and the *Large Robotic Cockroach Whose Name is Dillon but Prefers to be Called “Large Robotic Cockroach Planning to Fight Godzilla in a Movie Directed by Michael Bay*,” Kardashian and Izzaskank evaluate the film in relation to its fidelity to the novel on which it is based.

  3. I agree with MikeyB up there, Die Hard with zombies would totally be a hit with me! I’d pay to see it : )

  4. *Snow White and the Seven Zombies*…p.s. I love your idea…hypothetical movies are often more fun to ponder than real movies are to watch:)

  5. *The Zombies of Wrath* sounds pretty ominous. It could be part of a series of Steinbeck adaptations including such classics as *Of [Mice and] Zombies and Men” and *East of Zombie Eden*

  6. *Zombie Apocalypse Now* and *Full Metal Zombie* also sound a bit ominous…

  7. Stephen King presents *The Undead Zone* ?

  8. *Zombie Snakes on Planes* and *The Zombie Avengers*–the zombies probably need some people to avenge all the persecution they’ve suffered…

  9. the Three Stooges in a musical with zombies:) I love your posts and this one was really interesting with all the possibilities

  10. I’m warning you all that I could probably do this all day…

  11. Reblogged this on Miscellaneous Inanities and commented:
    A fun post from Jack Flacco’s blog:

  12. * Buffy the Zombie Slayer*, *Zombie Showgirls,* *The Secret Zombie Garden,* *Fear and Zombies in Las Vegas*, *The Death of a Zombie Salesman,* *To Kill a Zombie Mockingbird*…

  13. *The Zombie Princess Bride*, *The Zombie Princess Diaries*, *Beauty and the Zombie Beast*,

  14. *Zombies Bring it On!* –about zombies cheerleaders who overcome prejudice and internal squabbling to become the cheerleading national champs…

  15. *Zombie Marley and Me*…they thought they’d put Marley down, until…

  16. Oh wow! Lots of choices! It’d take a but for me to come up with a worthy movie remake… Ummm. How about “Apollo13″ and how coming back from the moon they bring a virus back with them? Voilà zombie origin…

  17. I will watch all of these. Gladly. I think maybe we need a Star Trek: Into Zombieland where Captain Kirk is forced to match wits with an intergalactic army of the undead.
    These posts are just too fun and I’m most likely going to have zombie dreams tonight.

    Hope you are well, Jack!

  18. What a great post! I would watch Alien and Die Hard, but you just can’t do that to Harry Potter. Unacceptable!! Because I have to watch chick flicks all of the time, I would like to try out a few of those twisted up with zombies. I’m going to go with Mean Girls and Legally Blonde. Elle Woods would definitely find a way to fight off the zombies, and she would do it with style!

  19. A Zombie Too Far. WWII: the airborne forces of Operation-Market Garden parachute into the Netherlands only to find it has been overrun by the undead.

  20. “The Zombie of Wall St.” (Wolf of Wall St.) – it displays in gory detail just who/what is behind the brutal sucking-dry death of the financial system. Zombie traders! Zombie brokers! Zombie financial analysts! Promoted by the Zombie Financial Network on cable TV.

  21. Die Hard Zombie sounds fabulous, Jack! I think there should be a Le Misera-zombie (or something to that effect!) Of course, the great question there, is who do the zombies replace? The aristocracy or the proletariat? :-)

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